Traveling with a baby

We just returned from a trip to Germany with our 2-month old baby boy. Here is what I learned:

As for traveling with a baby - I think you'll actually have more "trouble" with a toddler because he'll get restless and insist on getting out of his seat on the plane and running around. It's really hard to sit still that long!
But the real tricks I learned were: get ear drops! They numb the inner-ear so the air-pressure isn't quite as painful. You can also help out by trying to get the baby to suck on something on the ascent and descent. Oliver can suck on a lollipop to help pop his ears.
Bring twice as many onesies and bibs as you think you'll need! It's so much easier to change a bib than it is to change a whole outfit and a semi-wet outfit can be bearable if there is a dry onesie underneath. This is especially important if you won't have access to a washing machine. If you do use a washing machine, ask that they use less detergent than usual and run a 2nd rinse.

My Oma washed some of Coen's clothes and because most Europeans line dry, there were really crunchy and very detergenty-smelling. Or bring a cup of your own detergent if you want to ensure for baby's sensitive skin not being irritated.

We went back and forth on whether or not to bring the stroller. We did bring our collapsable stroller (a sturdy one) and were very glad for it. I assume the Brits do as much walking as Germans do, and unless your back is made of steel, the baby carrier will do a real number of your back after an hour of walking. But do not over-load the stroller on your day trips! Lots of train stations do not have elevators or escalators and you will have to carry the stroller up and down the stairs. Practice doing that a few times to find out who carries which end of the stroller better - it is awkward and you don't want to drop the baby. Same goes for escalators - we Americans aren't used to using one with a stroller but it's commonplace in Germany. Plan for the stroller to be two steps below the one you will stand on and be ready to tip the stroller slightly back towards you. Have a spotter on a step below the stroller in case you wobble.

BUT do bring a soft carrier or sling for the plane ride! I wore Coen for most of the flight - he was soothed and slept most of the time and my hands were still free. You can hold the baby, but your arms will get tired after an hour.

When you book your flight, call and ask for the "bassinet row" - it's the first row so there's no one in front of you and they can secure a little crib to the wall in front of you. We opted not to use the bassinet because it's unwieldy and and will block the person sitting by the window from getting out. 

If one of you is sitting in the aisle seat, be sure to hold the baby's head away from the aisle - you don't want to risk the soft noggin getting hit by the metal cart!

You are allowed to bring formula-related liquids through security now. We pre-filled bottles with filtered water. Once you are on the plane, ask whichever flight attendant seemed friendly for a large bottle of water to use for the rest of the flight. We brought 10 bottles for a 10 day trip. We really only needed that quantity for the flight itself because the plane water is not sterile to properly wash and re-use during the flight. Once on land, we really only needed about 5 bottles. We would wash them daily in the hotel sink. Take a towel right away and set it aside to dry the bottles on before anyone else can use it.

We were also allowed to bring Pedialyte, but it has to be refrigerated once opened. In Germany we bought electrolyte powder packets that you could add to water. We did all this because Coen had a little diarrhea the morning that we left but in the end it was good to have anyway because even after the diarrhea, the plane trip really dehydrated him and it's not good to give infants straight water because it can overwork their kidneys.

He did adjust to the time difference after about 4 days. Before that he would wake up about twice per night. The time change will probably be harder for you than the kids! try to share baby duty evenly between you and your spouse - one of you should be sleeping when the other one is up.  No child is better off with two exhausted parents! It's tricky though when you're all in the same hotel room. Try to set up a "baby area" near a dimly-lit place in the room, like near the bathroom. You can use the light coming through the cracked door so as to not wake everyone else up and hopefully get the baby to go right back to sleep!

Bring a few large-size lap pads or plastic-lined changer-covers to use as extra changing pads or for the baby to sleep on because who knows how clean the sheets are (or will remain once the baby's spit up on them!) Like these: Carter's Lap Pads or Boppy Changing Pad Liner (I am not endorsing these products, they are just what we used with success)

Bring a few large-size ziploc bags for clean bottles, dirty bottles, clean spare clothes, dirty clothes, whatever. Also a couple cloth/soft grocery bags can be used for day trips and folded back up into your diaper bag or luggage later.

Diapers: get an idea of how many you go through per day, per child. Don't bring a whole bunch of extras - they sell diapers over there and at least in Germany, they are the same brands as over here. You can use that space in the suitcase for better things, like burp cloths or blankets.

Bring your baby's soap! Burt's Bees sells a great baby travel kit - because the hotel soaps will be too harsh. Don't forget diaper rash cream, baby nail clippers and brush, too! I also packed a tube of vaseline and a few Q-tips for the cradle cap flakes.

Pay attention to your baby's cues and make sure they are getting enough quiet time each day. Try to find a quiet place to feed them and give you and and baby a little break from all the running around. No one likes a baby that's gone crazy from too much stimulation. 

Also, always be on the look-out for family bathrooms! They are great for giving everyone the chance to pee and not have to split the family/luggage up. You can usually find them in large shopping malls, airports and the like.

Last, don't let random people touch your baby's skin, especially the face or hands. One of the security people touched my son's cheek and I regret not saying, "Please don't touch him." to her in a firm tone. A sick baby will ruin your trip and that lady should have known not to do that, especially considering how she touches hundreds of people's things all day long. And wash your hands every chance you get - I am not a germ-a-phobe, but travel inherently involves touching all kinds of surfaces that are used by thousands of people all day (elevator buttons, stair rails, nasty airplane seats and arm rests, etc.).

I've been promoted!

And my new title is... "Mommy"

No, the baby's not here yet (that would be bad cuz he'd be 3 months early), but I have been really getting into this whole Mommy thing lately. I have been going to the expecting/nursing mothers bible study group, researching toys that aren't made in China, joining the local Intown Mommies group, researching "Babywearing" and slings, and buying crazy art for the baby's room, like the "hunting trophy" in the picture:

His name is Mitchum and according to the back of the plaque, "he's called that because he enjoyed kissing his chocolate truffles before devouring them in one bite. He especially enjoyed anything with mint in it."

Happy 3rd Trimester Day!

Can you freaking believe it?As of today I am 24 weeks along, which means I am entering my 3rd trimester/6th month of this pregnancy. It is kind of weird for me because I guess on some level I didn't believe it was really going to happen; that I was really pregnant and really going to be able to carry a baby to term. But now, in addition to feeling like my body has been taken over by some alien force that wants me to waddle like a penguin and not be able to tie my shoes, I am also amazed daily whenever the little guy bumps around in there. 

In the meantime the USA finally got it's head screwed on right and elected Barack Obama to be president! In response, I received this email from my friend in Germany:

Greetings to you from Germany upon your succeful election. We are very happy that Obama made it! He truly is a charismatic and exceptional person. The results of this election mean a lot for America. It's like a rebirth, a renewal. What a wonderful signal, not just for America, Obama has shown us that you really can make a difference, even when it doesn't seem like it at first. I didn't believe it that he would overshoot Hillary.

I hope for him that he can improve things and make his promises come true. Unfortunately he won't have it easy. Right now America has a lot of problems (finance crisis, Iraq...I believe you know all about that). But he is most definitely the best man and other countries have these problems, too. I really hope that things will change for the better in Iraq or Afghanistan.

I hope all is well for you guys, especially your baby, who will be born in a new America!

It's a little BOY!

So I feel really bad that I'm just getting around to posting this fact now, although I figure more of you already know this via email or facebook. But you know now, and knowing is half the battle.

I am at the 20 week mark (5 months) and I have another 4 1/2 months to go until the little fella makes his first live appearance! That means we have only 4 1/2 months to:

1) Rearrange and paint the soon-to-be nursery

2) Move the washer and dryer from behind the kitchen to the little room behind our chimney

3) Baby-proof the house

4) Re-roof the house (has to get done anyway)

5) Buy a real bed frame for us

6) and of course, buy a ton of baby-related furniture, clothes and other cute and tiny yet expensive accouterments

Alright already, here are the cute pictures:

Side View, that's his head on the right

He's waving hello!

Me, at 4.25 months, doing an adorable high school senior photo pose because I am a dork

Poof! you're gone!

I woke up this morning feeling distressed but wasn't sure why at first. 

I looked around and after my eyes adjusted to what I was seeing, I realized that it's just all this ugly news everywhere lately that's getting to me (dirty politics, stock market crashing, people actually loving Sarah Palin, etc).

And it's so typical, isn't it? Outta nowhere, these people just barge in and start poking around with their self-serving, folksy sweet-talk.  Like I give a damn. It's pathetic and annoying - like a little yappy dog begging for attention. 

Whatever, people. Move along.

Senator McCain, you are NOT my friend!

Seriously, we're not friends, so stop saying that. Oh, and drop the maverick thing already - it's getting really freaking old and annoying. Tom Cruise is Maverick - not you. Although, if you were, does that make Palin "Goose?" (me personally, I would call her Iceman, but that's just me)

Also, you're really not giving me any reason to trust that you won't drop dead any moment - it was only half-way through the debate and you were already out of breath. Maybe a treadmill or a guest spot on Celebrity Fit Club would help? Just a thought.

BitterSweet

This weekend I went to my alma mater, which had been Randolph-Macon Woman's College up until the 2007/-08 school year when it was hastily made coed and re-named, Randolph College. The school's administration claimed that we were in such dire financial straits that if we did not go coed, the school would face imminent closing. This information was a sudden blow to most of the students and alumnae. Looking back, I realize that there had been some warning flags pointing to the financial distress, such as the dilapidated and outdated sports building (P.E.R.) and library, but somehow I guess I just accepted them as a part of the school, just the same way I had accepted it's unfortunate location in Lynchburg, VA.

Regardless of the situation, I think many (most?) of the students and alumnae felt the problem was handled poorly with utmost disrespect towards anyone who was not in a power-position. As for myself, what I felt was severe disenfranchisement from an institution that was not behaving in the way it had taught me to think and act, namely with deliberate and thoughtful actions that would ultimately serve the greater good. What I saw taking place instead was rash, one-sided and inconsiderate to practically everyone involved.

One example of this horribly constructed process is the fact that a plan was not established as to what to do with the Randolph-Macon alumnae association and the eventual need for a Randolph College alum association. So this year the administration* basically tried to yank us around again and shove another rash decision down our throats by telling us that there was no other option other than to combine the two alum associations. The language that was used in what I would have thought were supposed to be unbiased, informational letters to the alumnae about the ideas and possibilities on what to do about this issue, was in fact astoundingly coercive and basically amounted to emotional blackmail. An example of this language can be seen here: 

If you are not a R-MWC alum, you might not appreciate the power behind using abrasive words like "walled off" as pulling from one the school's icons, the red brick wall that frames the front of our campus and is lovingly referred to in our school song. And this is just one example of many. On top of all this, the greatest injustice was that while apparently other solutions were proposed and researched, this was the only resolution that was presented to the body of the alumnae association.

I recently signed up to be class secretary for the class of 2000 and while I was vaguely aware of all these goings-on, I had largely ignored it because it was so emotionally overwhelming. But, I think I kind of lucked out that the class secretary orientation takes place at the Annual Meeting, which also is where the "Open Meeting" and subsequent vote about the alum associations were scheduled to take place. I don't know if I could have brought myself to go there, if I hadn't had another reason to be there.

The weekend started Friday evening with a talk by the new president, John Klein. I have not made up my mind about how I feel about him. I do have to give him kudos for braving such a rocky and uncertain terrain, not just financially speaking, but also the tumultuous adaption from single-sex to coed. *It is here that I want to explain my previous asterisk: one of the biggest things that has and is continuing to bother me about this whole thing is that I really, truly do not know WHO is in charge of much this decision-making process. Even after visiting the school and doing as much investigating as I could, I could not make out who or what group was pushing all this. 

After President Klein's speech (which I missed most of and so will not comment on), they brought out a panel of current students, 4 ladies and one young man. I recognized the guy, Caleb, from recent mailings from the school - he is the epitome of "poster boy" - energetic, charming and talkative, he exudes "school spirit." I am sure he is a fine young person and I know he is not only academically prosperous, but also extremely well plugged-in to many other school activities. However, I was disappointed that he was the only male on the panel because, well, he views had to affected by the fact that he is gay. If you know me, you know that I have absolutely NOTHING against homosexuals and while I am not suggesting that he should have been replaced by a straight male on the panel, I would have appreciated the view from a straight male in addition. 

Because if we're being honest, different people do have different experiences and views. (in this same light, I will also point out that all of the panel members were caucasian, which is obviously one-sided) I spoke to the panel organizer, Dean Sarah Swager, about this (in lightly veiled language) and she expressed that she would have loved to have had another male on the panel. Now, of course, these kids were hand-picked (by Dean Sawger, I assume) and so yet again I was left feeling a bit like I was at one of those resorts where you can stay for a free weekend if you sit and listen to their sales pitch about an "amazing investment opportunity" but nobody tells you in plain language that that's what is going on.

The next morning (very early for me at 8:30 am!) was the so-called "Open Session." I don't know who came up with that name for this event, but clearly it was someone with an extremely cynical sense of humor. The name led me to believe that it would an open, honest discussion between the alumnae and the Alumnae Association Board. I don't think I was alone in this misconception, as many of us were outraged to find that these were the rules:

Especially the part where it says that none of the board members would be speaking - that also meant that they were NOT answering any of our questions - of which many were posed. So basically we were left with the "opportunity" to voice our thoughts and ask what became, in effect, rhetorical questions. There were those who addressed the board with their frustrations at the way this whole debacle has been handled (myself included) which I will call the "Opposers" and then there were those who were for the resolution - we'll call them "Proponents" and were actually, in effect, addressing the Opposers most of the time.

The gist was this: the Opposers expressed their deep concerns for how we felt blind-sided (again) by how quickly and harshly this was all coming about. Many of the Opposers just wanted some simple questions answered, like how did this "resolution" that had been voted down before become not only re-instated but also as the only option? The Proponents on the other hand seemed to have a main platform of "let's just get this over with." Some of the Opposers let their emotions get a little carried away, which I must say was a bit annoying because it wasn't achieving anything to get up and grandstand. Some of the Proponents were accusing Opposers of being mean and trying to screw the RC students out of a decent alum association, which I felt was not fair especially considering that most of the Opposers kept saying "we're not even necessarily against the resolution itself but we are against the way this process has been handled."

Passionate feelings ran across all demographic groups; there were outspoken women from all general age ranges and positions. However, one thing I noticed was that it seemed that most of the Opposers were from more recent graduating classes and most of the Proponents were from the older classes, although it was not the case strictly across the board. Based on the arguments I heard, it would be my guess that the younger folks (I would say from classes from the mid-60s on to '08) probably felt a closer bond to the college as it is now (er, before going coed), whereas the women from '51 to the early-70s had already felt a sense of loss because the college had already changed so much since then (I spoke with women who had been there when they dropped greek life, still ate sit-down served dinners on college china while wearing dresses and gloves and no one was openly gay). 

Many of the older ladies kept insisting that with age/time these thing wouldn't be so important to me and that everything changes anyway, so might as well suck it up and move on. Now, of course here is where we also run into simply different eras and experiences between the age groups. These older ladies came from a time where women still had a certain place in society, and one of them was at a safe, small, quaint women's college. I was actually a bit shocked to note this difference in our college experiences. I guess I had always assumed that R-MWC had always been a place where we were encouraged to push the envelope, ask questions and make ourselves heard. But these women, I think, were equally appalled to see that we were so vocal and so open with our emotions. They have turn-of-the-century stoicism in their blood and we have bra-burning anger in ours.

This trend continued into the actual Annual Meeting and vote itself.

Some interesting points that were brought up and other observations: 

*Apparently the Alumnae Association was an independent organization for many years, so in theory it is do-able as long as the alumnae keep sending money to it.

*The Alumnae Association holds the belief that ultimately the Association is here to benefit the college and not, as many others would believe, the alumnae.

*As I understand it, you cannot currently send money to the Alumnae Association directly earmarked for only their use. All the money goes to the college and then the college doles out the funds as they see fit.

*There are some people who liked the resolution because they want to make sure our association doesn't "die out" 

*There are some people who liked the resolution because they felt it was their duty to provide an established association to the RC students

*Current RC students were not allowed to voice their opinion or vote on the resolution, despite quite a bit of debate on the matter and even a passed vote from last year's Annual Meeting that said they would be allowed in the meeting (based on the existing college rules that state any student who has completed at least one successful semester is counted as an alum). This vote/decision was overturned, as best as I can tell, by veto by the Alumnae Association President, Emily Gill Mills '79. She claimed