Acceptance

An important reminder to myself and my friends:
Reality is a million times easier to handle and even enjoy when you choose to live with a spirit of acceptance of what *is.*

Even if a situation itself isn't okay, you can choose to be okay with it. But just wishing your life were different or getting stuck on blaming the who or why it sucks changes nothing; it only creates useless feelings of discontent and suffering.

Dreams are nice and the cam be useful as a point to work towards, but real life can be so much more than something to escape if we instead choose live into the here and now instead of working so hard to avoid, reject or wish it away.

In order to move towards the life you of your dreams (and feel content and grateful with what you have now), it's important to understand how and why you got to here and now (not to blame but to learn from history and forgive).
None of this are possible without  dedicated time and action to take a gentle, honest look at your life. This is not to find fault or judge anyone or anything (including/especially yourself!). The goal is to assess and acknowledge your complete current state, inwards and outwards, mentally, physically, emotionally, situationally, financially and relationally.

You can't get anywhere if you don't know where you're starting from. You can't get what you want/need if you don't know what you have.

Life is hard, unfair and sometimes heartbreaking, but that doesn't have to ruin everything. When you spend your time and energy avoiding, rejecting and assigning blame and judgement for the bad, you're probably also missing all of the wonderful gifts and miracles.

Don't rob yourself of joy, wonder and delight! Instead, do what you can when you can to spread those gifts! And when you're suffering, you don't have to sulk all alone, go ask for what you need. Trust that you're not alone and that your humble openness is the best way to see and receive the abundant love and support you seek.

"Vita Abundantior!" School motto of my alma mater, Randolph Macon Woman's College

Good stuff

Jon and I recently had one of those awesome conversations that was full of deep wonder, big questions and open hearts. (It's hard to find the space for those moments as an adult, isn't it?)

Anyway, our final conclusion, which we reached independently but at the same time, was that the biggest challenge and highest goal to have in life is strike that balance between being content but not complacent.

Letter to Kiffy

http://www.kiffy.fr/index.php?lang=en_US

Bon Jour,
I live in USA and I am very interested in your tricycle products. Do you plan on selling them here? If yes, when and how?

I also have a question that I hope may inspire a third product option: is it possible to add battery powered electric pedal assist to either of your tricycles?

I am only 37 years old and am relatively fit but I have a health problem that causes fatigue and pain in my joints (it's not arthritis but a genetic disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Hypermobility). I don't need a wheelchair (hopefully never!) but my search for an urban transportation alternative has been frustrating.  I've found my options fall in only two categories: products for sport (electric bicycles or toy electric scooters) or products for very old people (electric wheelchairs or traditional adult tricyles).  It also means I have to choose between something I can only ride outside or something that can only be used indoors (like a shopping mall).

That's why I'm so excited about your tricycles - they have many of the features I desire:
Three wheels, comfortable ride, compact, lightweight, modern styling and a useful rack. Adding a little electric power would make it perfect!

I look forward to your answers!

Sincerely, Kate

Letter to URB-E

http://urb-e.com/

Hello Super Awesome Inventor People!

I am in total love with your products and if my lifestyle was like the one in the video, I'd love to be the first person in Atlanta (well, it's shoulder rubbing neighbor, Decatur) to have one. But there's one small (?) problem: while the URB-E has 99% of what I need -electric power, three wheels, comfortable ride, compact, lightweight, modern styling and a useful rack- it's missing a certain je ne sais quoi, a bit more susbstance or stability, or at least that's the case for me anyway.

Here's why:
I am only 37 years old and am relatively fit but I have a health problem that causes fatigue and pain in my joints (it's not arthritis but a genetic disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Hypermobility). I don't need a wheelchair (hopefully never!) but my search for a transportation alternative has been frustrating.

So far I've found my options fall in only two categories: products for sport (electric bicycles or toy electric scooters) or products for the senior citizen set (electric wheelchairs or traditional adult tricyles). Essentially I'm left with having to choose either an unwieldy electric bicycle, which lacks versatility and the stability of a trike, or a geriatric Hooveround type thing, not to mention those also force me to choose between indoor or outdoor use.

What I want/need is something that I can use to zip through my neighborhood to pick my 5 year old son up from school, go along on walks with my husband and son, take to a mall, airport or theme park and maybe even be able to attach a larger basket or a small cargo trailer (like a proportionately sized version of the Burley flatbed trailer).

That's why I want everything the URB-E products already have, just MORE:  larger, more rugged tires, an even longer, wider base and a handle bar that offers greater control.

Please know I do understand why y'all made the choices you did to make the current URB-Es the way you did based on where you saw a need, and like I said, it's perfect in that application; and this is exactly why I'm telling you all about my need for a pre-mobility/eco/urban neighborhood walking/kid-towing/grocery/mall/flea market shopping/state fair/university campus/themepark/trail hike/airport/museum transportation alternative. And I know I'm not the only one.

Thanks for letting me ramble on and I genuinely hope to hear back about your plans for URB-E.3!

Sincerely, Kate

"What does authenticity mean to you?"

Question posed by friend Krista Dickan on FB. Here's my response:

Feeling genuinely content, confident and comfortable with yourself. You are being authentic and living authentically when your positive feelings about yourself don't waver (or not much) even when you or your life aren't "perfect."

I've been working on loving myself even when I have done something or found myself in a position I don't like, such as failing to meet some standard as well as the feeling of failure that comes when I realize I'm criticizing myself for the initial "failure."

I start wherever I find myself in that spiral of negativity and go backwards from there, offering gentle, loving and self soothing words/actions to undo the painful knots I frequently (though lately less and less) twist myself into.

I even chuckle to myself sometimes because it's just one of those silly (NOT bad) things we humans do. It's like a Greek comedy!

I think being authentic allows (requires?) for this kind of "both/and" mindset. I personally don't think it's possible or reasonable to expect that I'll never disappoint myself or be disappointed with a situation, but I can definitely be kind to myself and others about it :)

(Note: I say this in direct contrast to manufactured feelings of pride, happiness or anything that comes from a need to compensate for one's deeper rooted fear, emptiness or unworthiness.)

Response to "Anyone try Rescue Remedy?"

I love it to take the edge off if I'm stressed or anxious. It's more helpful if you also take a moment to first gently check in with yourself to discover and acknowledge what is causing your distress.  I often realize that there's some emotion, personal truth or difficulty I've been trying to avoid. A therapist once told me: the source of dis-ease comes from rejecting reality. In other words, when we stay stuck in wishing things were different or that we were different, we are actually not only trying to block out the unwanted things (which is futile) and actually create a real block that keeps us from what we *do* want.
By taking an honest (not harshly but with love towards self) look at where and who we actually currently are, and accepting that, we are then free to move on. (Note: there's a big difference between saying, "It's Okay" and "I'm okay with it." The situation you face may not be okay. Life sucks sometimes. But you can choose to find a way to be okay anyway.)

I also love to do some intentional grounding and/or centering. If I'm totally overwhelmed, I'll even start by listing the factual things around me: My feet are cold, the walls are blue, the chair is hard, etc.
Which, if I may get on my soapbox, is a most excellent way to find peace even if it's not peaceful around you.
Take care!

Fat Girls

This. This is one of the most real, honest and therefore beautiful things I've ever seen.
Watch it.
And then read the interview with Sarah Baker, below the transcript of the scene. Sarah clearly put her whole self into playing Vanessa opposite of Louie, who deserves major huge kudos as well. But you'll have to watch and read see why.

I have more commentary posted below, but first:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/watch-this-beautifully-honest-scene-about-fat-girls-from-lou?s=mobile

So is your heart opened up? Did you identify with her? With him? Did you learn something? Or did you feel overwhelmed by hearing your heart spilling out of her mouth?
Because this honesty, this truth actually applies to each of us. We all have that something that makes us fell "less than."
This scene speaks for every single person - because we are, essentially, all the same with the same needs, dreams and desires.
But wait. Before you react to what I just said. Read the rest of my little soapbox commentary.
I don't want to take away even a single bit of the importance of this for those who identify themselves as a "fat girl."

My reason for posting this link is fully informed by my love of humans. Like, I'm in love with humans. I may not *like* everyone, but I've always had a deep and abiding love for all people. I was born this way and I'm grateful for this gift from God. It's one of the things about myself that I love the most.
Ok now I sound like I'm tooting my own horn. But my point here is that this love means my empathy for others is genuine. This post is my love song for the "fat girls." I hope people reading this understand.

If this scene were about me, my version would be about my scars, health issues/physical limitations and depression. I am so grateful for my husband who loves me, not despite and also not because of, but just all of me, as I am. I am still often in awe that he wants to hold my hand, especially since my hospitalization and the subsequent effects on how I look and function. (Watch the video before you comment on here. And please PLEASE don't offer platitudes. I don't look the same as I did. It's not horrible but it's also not great. It sucks but I'm okay with it most of the time. I usually prefer honesty versus kind but not totally true consolation. At the same time I also realize that people are just wanting to show me love and support, which is lovely. I just also want those close to me to know I can handle gentle truth - it's actually pretty affirming to have my [relatively minor, but still real] struggle acknowledged.)
But even with all that said, I realize that the fact that I'm thin still gives me a totally unfair advantage and, because my thinness is largely due to my genetic makeup and NOT because I work hard to be fit, that advantage is completely undeserved.

I'm sorry it's like this. No, not for everyone, not for every "fat girl," but for way too many. I'm sorry that as humans we haven't risen above this kind of pitiful, closed-minded, closed-hearted, unthinking and superficial method of assessing other people's value or worthiness.

I'm ashamed of when I've been guilty of doing it. I know it sucks because it's been used against me.

I'm sorry. I love you.